How to Stop Thinking of Something or Someone

Edited by Juelle Bembry, Katrina, General Jackson, Lillian May and 24 others

You can't get an embarrassing moment or a cute barista off of your mind. These kinds of thoughts are common, but if they're proving to be too distracting, there are steps you can take to rid yourself of unwanted thoughts. Start by putting your full attention on this article.

Method 1 of 3: Using Your Brain
 

1.Practice acceptance. If you've tried just not thinking about someone or something, you know it's not really possible--if it were that easy, you wouldn't be reading this article. In fact, research has found that it is better to accept your unwanted thoughts rather than to push them away. In one study, participants who practiced acceptance were less obsessive, had lower levels of depression and were less anxious than those who tried thought suppression.

 

2. Use focused distraction. You may have already tried distracting yourself to get the thoughts you want to avoid out of your head, but have you tried focused distraction? Studies suggest it is better to distract yourself with just one thing rather than jumping from one thing to another trying to divert your attention from unwanted thoughts. Aimless mind-wandering is associated with unhappiness, so choose a specific task, book or piece of music to concentrate on and give it your full attention. 

3.Throw them out. In a study published in the journal Psychological Science, researchers found that when people wrote down their thoughts on a piece of paper and then threw the paper away, they mentally discarded the thoughts as well. 

 4.Check for a lesson. If you're having obsessive thoughts because of a mistake you've made and you keep mentally re-living the error, try treating the situation as a lesson. Ask yourself what the lesson is and what you can learn from your mistake. Try summing it up in just one sentence or less and write it down.

Method 2 of 3: Keeping Busy

 

 

1. Get active. Engaging in a sport that requires you to focus on your body and/or eye-hand coordination is a good way to clear your head. Plus, exercise brings the added benefit of producing the brain's feel-good neurotransmitters, endorphins, which will improve your mood. 
2.   Do something mentally strenuous. Challenge yourself mentally by completing a Sudoko or crossword puzzle, solving complicated math problems or following a complex set of instructions to complete a project. The mental focus it will take to do these kinds of activities will leave you with no time or mental energy to think your unwanted thoughts. 
3. 
   
   
   3.Laugh. Laughter can take your mind off worries. When we laugh, our brain is engaged--it's instructing our body to make a series of gestures and sound. Laughing helps reduce stress, so if your recurring thoughts are causing you anxiety, laughter really is good medicine. Hang out with friends who simply crack you up, rent a funny movie or try a laughter yoga class. You can even find therapists who specialize in "laughter therapy," which teaches people how to openly laugh at things that aren't usually funny and to use humor to cope with difficult situations.                                                              4.Talk it out. Often the best way to get a thought out of your head is to share it with someone else. Turn to a friend or family member who's a good listener and tell them what's on your mind. If you feel as though your difficulty in dealing with your unwanted thoughts is more than a friend can help with, turn to a professional therapist or counselor who can work with you.

Method 3 of 3: Engaging in Thought Stopping

1. 1.Write your thought(s) down. Your thoughts are distracting you from your daily activities and causing you unhappiness, anxiety or worry, so the first thing you must do is put them on paper. Write down all your upsetting thoughts in order of the most stressful to the least stressful.
   2.Imagine the thought. Sit or lie down in a private place. Close your eyes. Imagine a situation in which you might have this stressful thought.
2. 
   
   3.Stop the thought. Set a timer, watch or other alarm for three minutes. Then focus on your unwanted thought. When the timer or alarm goes off, shout "Stop!" That's your cue to empty your mind of all thoughts and try to keep it empty for about 30 seconds. If the upsetting thought comes back during that time, shout "Stop!" again.                                                                          4.Practice. Repeat this exercise until the thought goes away on command. Then try the exercise again and interrupt the thought by saying "Stop" in a normal voice rather than a shout. Once your normal voice is able to stop the thought, try whispering "Stop." Over time, you can just imagine hearing "Stop" inside your mind. At this point, you should be able to stop the thought whenever and wherever it occurs. Once you've achieved that level of control, choose the next thought on your list and continue thought-stopping.