Sunday, June 8, 2014

Can friends become lovers

Can friends become lovers?
Can someone love his friend even though he didn't use to love him in the beginning?
In fact, one of the best ways ever to make someone fall in love with you is to become friends with him first. Before i tell you why friends can become lovers you first need to know that people in fall when they find a person who has a similar or a higher total score than them.
A total score is the value a person gives to someone else which determines whether he can be a potential partner or not.


I have said earlier that each person calculates this total score differently based on his own values, background and past experiences
So what does this has to do with lovers becoming friends?

Love vs friendship

Close friends are the ones who have high enough total score to become friends but who don't have the total score that allows them to become potential partners.
This means that if you became friends with someone then you are already half way to make him love you.
Certainly friends can become lovers and in fact the best way to make someone fall in love with you is to become friends with him first without showing any intentions.

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc

How to Find Your Soul Mate and Why You Should Stop Looking



Some of you have this idea that your soul mate will save you from your own unhappiness. Some of you have this idea that you can magically manifest your ideal relationship through the use of vision boards, positive affirmations, and detailed lists of traits you look for in a partner. Some of you will get exactly what you ask for- which would be affirmation and reinforcements of your beliefs. If you believe your soulmate will make you forget your own unhappiness- you will....temporarily. If you believe your ideal partner will share a blissful, wonderful, balanced, conscious relationship with you, you will....temporarily.

The whole point of this article is to illustrate the flaws and incoherent ideas regarding the search for the soulmate. I am not a cynic, but I do believe that if you are fervently searching for a soulmate- you have personal aspects that need tending to first and foremost.

Your Soul Mate Will Not Complete You
Nobody in this world will truly
complete
you because you are already complete by yourself. You do not need anyone to make up for that which you lack. Those lacks are illusory and caused by false beliefs and ego-based identifications. Opposites attract but they do not coexist for long because like resonates with like. Drop the belief that somebody will save you from yourself or from your own situations. Your salvation and development and self exploration and self healing is your responsibility.


You Want A Perfectly Tailored Life Companion
Your list of traits you want in a soulmate reads like an heiress's specialty coffee order during her midweek juice cleanse. You expect your partner to fit your life perfectly like a glove. You expect your soulmate to psychically understand how and why you want to be treated the way you do. You expect your soulmate to basically be made for you. Is another really created for the purpose of another? This is codependence at its subtlest.
By expecting your partner to act and be a certain way, you destroy many opportunities for the growth, acceptance, and unconditional love that the entire concept of soulmates and true love perpetuate from.

You Need That Special Someone to Complete Your Life
You expect that once your soulmate enters your life, a torrent of bliss and heavenly euphoria will flood your life and will continue to fuel your existence throughout the extent of your time together. Placing such a high hope on a future condition means you are not content with your present. If you direly want a soulmate for this reason, you must learn how to exist in solitude and be happy alone. You must allow yourself to explore solitude and your true self in the absence of others. If you depend on another to bring you to a state of happiness, you are not truly ready to accept and experience that state of happiness because you have not allowed yourself to access it from within.


You Want That Someone Who Will Catapult You Into A Torrent of Spiritual Growth
If you depend on another to learn about accepting reality and loving yourself, you will be severely disappointed. Although it is very true that in intimate relationships, there are many opportunities to accept
another being just as they are and to practice unconditional love. You can do this anytime with yourself or with anyone you encounter. You don't need someone to become close to you to practice this.

What Is A Soulmate?
Well, if a soulmate isn't merely someone who will be tailor fit to your life, if a soulmate isn't someone made to make you feel complete, and if a soulmate is someone who wasn't brought into existence for the sake of your spiritual exploration, what is a soulmate?
If you believe in fate and destiny, you may believe that there are soul's pre-arranged to be together because they may learn lessons together. I personally do not like to believe this, at least entirely. You can learn those lessons with them, or you can live presently so that your need to go through such lessons is lessened and you reduce the intensity of your momentum towards those conditions.


On Earth, we have personalities and natural affinities that do exist. We can accept these natural affinities without over-identifying with them and limiting our understanding of ourselves and others. Our natural affinities are sometimes changeable and sometimes very stubborn. Due to these natural affinities, we are attracted to certain types of people. This attraction speaks to abundantly and subconsciously. Biologically, we are attracted to those who possess genes we would like to pass on to our own children. Emotionally, we are attracted to those who possess the capacity to stimulate/handle/accept our emotions, depending on the person and the extent of their self realization. Spiritually, we're attracted to those who can share the same beliefs as us and practice the same rituals or devotion, or introduce us to beliefs we feel we would do best to take up. These attractions are conditional- what if the other changes? We are not attracted to them as much as before. Still, do we love them? 

The sun does not choose where to shine, but the Earth takes up certain shapes and timings that cause the sunlight to shine more brightly and warmly in some places than others. Still, are you going to take the role as the sun radiating unconditional light, or are you going to be the technicalities and physicality of the Earth that dictate the flow of sunlight?
Unconditional love does not mean you will bend over backwards for everyone, become a saint, or never react to a situation. Unconditional love means that you see the infinite truth in others. Unconditional love is seeing others clearly without making their actions/words about you. Unconditional love is allowing awareness and grace to fill your existence in solitude that you bubble up and wish to express and spread such a wonderful gift- whether it be through a reverent glance, a kind word, a gentle touch, or a receptive ear. It is not demanding of others what you are fully capable of giving to yourself, and it is not giving in to others' similar demands of you. You just love because you have broken through your false barriers and illusory perceptions of the world and the energy of love just flows through you and fills you.
So if you are actively seeking out your soul-mate, try learning and attending to your own soul instead.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

How to Go an Extra Mile for Her  

Edited by Crazysailor, Krystle, Fianchetto, Mithy

It is never easy to keep a relationship with a girl. No matter how much she loves you she will soon get bored with the daily routine. So take some simple steps to prevent that catastrophic event.



1.Write down a list of ideas that worked with those other girls. Keep an eye on new ideas and put them on the list right away. 

2.Never forget that every idea works only three times. First time it is a WOW. Second time it is just nice and the third time is as much as she can take.

3.Every time she gives you that "what else is new" look grab your secret list right away.

4.Know her preferences. It is not a very good idea to take a girl who is scared stiff of the heights to a skiing resort.

5.Never put her down for being weak or slow, etc. That kind of attitude will ruin your relationship pretty soon

6.Always treat her like a queen but never forget that you are the prime-minister she expects you to be. And it is common knowledge that prime-ministers make all the decisions.