Discover who you really are

If you have ever wanted to experience for yourself a moment of genuine spiritual awakening, or if you simply want to know who you truly are, then an Enlightenment Intensive could be for you.
Enlightenment Intensives are residential group retreats with a single aim: to help you find the answer to life’s great questions such as “Who am I?” and “What is life?”
Not an answer in the form of words or ideas, however, but a direct experience of who you are, of the very essence of your being — that which some call True Nature, or simply Truth.
In short, an experience of enlightenment. In just three days.

I went in being me but not knowing it. I came out being me and knowing it. It was this that changed my life.

Sandy (EI participant)

What does enlightenment mean?

I know that finding enlightenment on one short retreat sounds pretty far-fetched. But this is largely because the word itself is not well defined.
To many, enlightenment refers to nothing less than the Buddha’s final, permanent state of absolute freedom and perfection, “liberation from the wheel of death and rebirth” — something unimaginable to most ordinary mortals. To others, it can conjure up images of extraordinary saints, or gurus endowed with supernatural powers.
Less well known, perhaps, but a lot more common the whole world over, is an experience known as “sudden enlightenment”.
This is a kind of momentary inner awakening to what is ultimate Truth. It involves a simple yet radical shift in consciousness, an experience that is far different from normal perceptions, thoughts and emotions. It is a timeless moment in which you suddenly, spontaneously, awaken to the absolute essence of self or life or reality.

I laughed with sheer joy at the’rightness’ of it… No doubt you know the jubilantly satisfying ‘click’ one experiences when one finds the solution to, for instance, a complicated mathematical problem. Well, the experience I had was of a similar kind but carried to the ultimate. A king-size, super-hyper-Click!!! And with the feeling that I had ‘come home’. It included the blissful awareness of unity, of being in all, and all being in me.

(from The Relevance of Bliss by Nona Coxhead)

In Zen, this sudden awakening experience is known as or kensho or satori. In the West, we also refer to it as illumination, the unitive experience, mystical union, self-realisation and so on.
It is simply a moment of true inner knowing; a discovery of ultimate Truth … not by reading about it, not by listening to people who teach about it … but by finding it for yourself, within yourself, by direct experience.

Many modern accounts, as well as spiritual traditions, describe how very ordinary people have stumbled upon just such an experience, almost by accident. What people experience in these moments of illumination is both universal and, paradoxically, unique to each person.
Common descriptions include:

• A profound sense of having “come home”
• An awe and reverence for life
• Unparalleled joy, fulfilment, gratitude
• Quiet certainty
• A deep sense of Love

For many people, knowing who and what they are brings a deep sense of relief and peace. Other people are surprised at the obviousness of it all, or amazed, or laugh hysterically at the cosmic joke involved. Some experience feelings of bliss; some a release of joy and energy that had been held back for years. It is not uncommon for people to recognise that this is what they always wanted but did not realise until they experienced it.

With the dropping away of the hope or desire to get it right, I caught a glimpse of something new; I sank into a direct if brief experience of who – or perhaps more accurately what – I am. It took my breath away. It moved through my body like fire and left me laughing with the sheer delight of being.

Oriah Mountain Dreamer (spiritual teacher, describing her experience on an EI)

But above all, enlightenment gives the most profound insight into reality, a sense of knowing and of oneness that is absolute … and hard to do justice with mere words!

6 Traits Of People Who Live Peaceful Lives (They Might Surprise You)

 

1. Let Go Of The Ego And Just Be Yourself

“Take time to be an impartial observer of life particularly when an ending is causing despair.” Lao Tzu

2. Learn From Masters

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” Albert Einstein

3. Bring Awareness To Your Life 

“The unaware life is not worth living.” -Socrates

4. Realize That We All Experience Conditioning Of Some Kind

“The only source of knowledge is experience” Albert Einstein

5. Understand You Create Your Own Experiences 

“Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him.” Aldous Leonard Huxley

6. How Do You Live Your Life – Through Fear Or Love? 

“Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.” Buddha

 

How to Avoid People You Dislike?

 Steps

1.Plan so that you won't see them. Avoid the places they're likely to go to. Try not to attend events you'll know they'll be attending, or stagger your activities so that you're present at different times. If you don't see them often to begin with, you won't have to spend as much effort trying to avoid them. 

 

2.Keep on the move when they show up. Try not to hang around them for too long. When they walk up to you and start a conversation, make an excuse such as "I have to use the restroom" and walk away from them. Don't look back as you walk off.

 

3.Do not make eye contact with the person. This isn't the most subtle approach, but if they feel you are ignoring them they will likely follow suit and not interact with you. 

4.Dodge their calls and texts if needed. When they call you, ignore them. And if they ask why you didn't answer, say you were working or asleep. 

 

5.Ignore them more bluntly, if they're actually rude or aggressive. This can be extreme, but ignoring them is often better than making a scene or starting a big, aggressive argument. If they say things to you that are rude or aggressive, just ignore them and walk away. 

 

 

Can You Change Other People?

Chances are, you have people in your life whose behavior you wish would change. Your romantic partner might be putting on a little weight. Your parents may complain too much. Your best friend won’t look for a new job, even though she hates the job she has now.

 Once you notice these annoyances, it is natural to want to push people to change. Is it actually possible to change someone else’s behavior? Should you even try?
It turns out that you can help people to change their behavior, but there is a limited amount you can do without their help. That is, there is some validity to the old

psychology joke:

Q. How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One, but the light bulb has to want to change.
The best way to help other people change is to learn about how to change your own behavior. The more you know about the factors that drive your own behavior, the better you can use the same principles to help other people change.

MORE: If Your Partner Changed, Would You Be Happier?

For example, human beings are a remarkably social species. We are wired to adopt the goals of the people around us. That means that there is something deeply right in Mahatma Ghandi’s exhortation to be the change you want to see in the world. (The original quote was, “If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change.” Truly fitting.) When you act in the way you want others to behave, you are helping the people around you to unconsciously adopt the goals you are pursuing.
People are also strongly driven by their environment. We generally do things that are easy to achieve and avoid things that are hard. That means that you can help people to change by removing temptations from their environment and replacing those temptations with items that promote desired goals. Many cities have taken this proposal to heart and have instituted bike-sharing programs that make it easy for people to leave their cars behind and to pedal from once place to another.

Unfortunately, there are limits to what you can change about another person without their cooperation. Unless someone is willing to really commit to a new goal and make plans that will help them achieve that goal and turn it into a habit, that individual is unlikely to make lasting changes in her life.

And that leads to the question of whether you should try to affect other people’s behavior.
The answer there is more complicated.

I am a big fan of communication. If you think that it is important for someone in your life to make a change, then talk about it. Do not try lots of indirect ways to get them to change. Most people quickly become aware of your attempts to influence what they do (and may reject or resent them). So, don’t assume you are being clever by hiding the Ben & Jerry’s or suggesting lots of early morning walks on the jogging path.

Can friends become lovers

Can friends become lovers?
Can someone love his friend even though he didn't use to love him in the beginning?
In fact, one of the best ways ever to make someone fall in love with you is to become friends with him first. Before i tell you why friends can become lovers you first need to know that people in fall when they find a person who has a similar or a higher total score than them.
A total score is the value a person gives to someone else which determines whether he can be a potential partner or not.

I have said earlier that each person calculates this total score differently based on his own values, background and past experiences
So what does this has to do with lovers becoming friends?

Love vs friendship

Close friends are the ones who have high enough total score to become friends but who don't have the total score that allows them to become potential partners.
This means that if you became friends with someone then you are already half way to make him love you.
Certainly friends can become lovers and in fact the best way to make someone fall in love with you is to become friends with him first without showing any intentions.

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc

How to Find Your Soul Mate and Why You Should Stop Looking

How to Find Your Soul Mate and Why You Should Stop Looking

Some of you have this idea that your soul mate will save you from your own unhappiness. Some of you have this idea that you can magically manifest your ideal relationship through the use of vision boards, positive affirmations, and detailed lists of traits you look for in a partner. Some of you will get exactly what you ask for- which would be affirmation and reinforcements of your beliefs. If you believe your soulmate will make you forget your own unhappiness- you will....temporarily. If you believe your ideal partner will share a blissful, wonderful, balanced, conscious relationship with you, you will....temporarily.

The whole point of this article is to illustrate the flaws and incoherent ideas regarding the search for the soulmate. I am not a cynic, but I do believe that if you are fervently searching for a soulmate- you have personal aspects that need tending to first and foremost.

Your Soul Mate Will Not Complete You
Nobody in this world will truly

complete

you because you are already complete by yourself. You do not need anyone to make up for that which you lack. Those lacks are illusory and caused by false beliefs and ego-based identifications. Opposites attract but they do not coexist for long because like resonates with like. Drop the belief that somebody will save you from yourself or from your own situations. Your salvation and development and self exploration and self healing is your responsibility.


You Want A Perfectly Tailored Life Companion
Your list of traits you want in a soulmate reads like an heiress's specialty coffee order during her midweek juice cleanse. You expect your partner to fit your life perfectly like a glove. You expect your soulmate to psychically understand how and why you want to be treated the way you do. You expect your soulmate to basically be made for you. Is another really created for the purpose of another? This is codependence at its subtlest.
By expecting your partner to act and be a certain way, you destroy many opportunities for the growth, acceptance, and unconditional love that the entire concept of soulmates and true love perpetuate from.

You Need That Special Someone to Complete Your Life
You expect that once your soulmate enters your life, a torrent of bliss and heavenly euphoria will flood your life and will continue to fuel your existence throughout the extent of your time together. Placing such a high hope on a future condition means you are not content with your present. If you direly want a soulmate for this reason, you must learn how to exist in solitude and be happy alone. You must allow yourself to explore solitude and your true self in the absence of others. If you depend on another to bring you to a state of happiness, you are not truly ready to accept and experience that state of happiness because you have not allowed yourself to access it from within.

You Want That Someone Who Will Catapult You Into A Torrent of Spiritual Growth
If you depend on another to learn about accepting reality and loving yourself, you will be severely disappointed. Although it is very true that in intimate relationships, there are many opportunities to accept
another being just as they are and to practice unconditional love. You can do this anytime with yourself or with anyone you encounter. You don't need someone to become close to you to practice this.

What Is A Soulmate?
Well, if a soulmate isn't merely someone who will be tailor fit to your life, if a soulmate isn't someone made to make you feel complete, and if a soulmate is someone who wasn't brought into existence for the sake of your spiritual exploration, what is a soulmate?
If you believe in fate and destiny, you may believe that there are soul's pre-arranged to be together because they may learn lessons together. I personally do not like to believe this, at least entirely. You can learn those lessons with them, or you can live presently so that your need to go through such lessons is lessened and you reduce the intensity of your momentum towards those conditions.

On Earth, we have personalities and natural affinities that do exist. We can accept these natural affinities without over-identifying with them and limiting our understanding of ourselves and others. Our natural affinities are sometimes changeable and sometimes very stubborn. Due to these natural affinities, we are attracted to certain types of people. This attraction speaks to abundantly and subconsciously. Biologically, we are attracted to those who possess genes we would like to pass on to our own children. Emotionally, we are attracted to those who possess the capacity to stimulate/handle/accept our emotions, depending on the person and the extent of their self realization. Spiritually, we're attracted to those who can share the same beliefs as us and practice the same rituals or devotion, or introduce us to beliefs we feel we would do best to take up. These attractions are conditional- what if the other changes? We are not attracted to them as much as before. Still, do we love them? 

The sun does not choose where to shine, but the Earth takes up certain shapes and timings that cause the sunlight to shine more brightly and warmly in some places than others. Still, are you going to take the role as the sun radiating unconditional light, or are you going to be the technicalities and physicality of the Earth that dictate the flow of sunlight?

Unconditional love does not mean you will bend over backwards for everyone, become a saint, or never react to a situation. Unconditional love means that you see the infinite truth in others. Unconditional love is seeing others clearly without making their actions/words about you. Unconditional love is allowing awareness and grace to fill your existence in solitude that you bubble up and wish to express and spread such a wonderful gift- whether it be through a reverent glance, a kind word, a gentle touch, or a receptive ear. It is not demanding of others what you are fully capable of giving to yourself, and it is not giving in to others' similar demands of you. You just love because you have broken through your false barriers and illusory perceptions of the world and the energy of love just flows through you and fills you.

So if you are actively seeking out your soul-mate, try learning and attending to your own soul instead.

How to Go an Extra Mile for Her  

Edited by Crazysailor, Krystle, Fianchetto, Mithy

It is never easy to keep a relationship with a girl. No matter how much she loves you she will soon get bored with the daily routine. So take some simple steps to prevent that catastrophic event.

1.Write down a list of ideas that worked with those other girls. Keep an eye on new ideas and put them on the list right away. 

2.Never forget that every idea works only three times. First time it is a WOW. Second time it is just nice and the third time is as much as she can take.

3.Every time she gives you that "what else is new" look grab your secret list right away.

4.Know her preferences. It is not a very good idea to take a girl who is scared stiff of the heights to a skiing resort.

5.Never put her down for being weak or slow, etc. That kind of attitude will ruin your relationship pretty soon

6.Always treat her like a queen but never forget that you are the prime-minister she expects you to be. And it is common knowledge that prime-ministers make all the decisions.